Every Risk Worth Taking
by a-land-of-myth
Summary: Out of all the people she could choose to get involved with and all the things she could choose to take up in her life, Lydia chooses the Winter Soldier and becoming very improvisational about how exactly she could serve her oath to protect the greater good. (Begins before TWS.)
1. Chapter 1

The Winter Soldier sat at the end of the bar with a shot of vodka. He kept up a good pretence of being an ordinary guy having a drink after a long day, but in reality, his day's work was nowhere near over. There was nothing coincidental about where he'd chosen to sit. It was a position that gave him clear view of his target – one Governor Byron Moore, who'd inadvertently gotten himself far on the wrong side of the Winter Soldier's people. However, the Winter Soldier had currently suspended his observation of Moore and was glaring with narrowed eyes at the new bartender.

Lydia Holden – or Nancy West, as she was currently calling herself – smiled at the Winter Soldier despite his obvious hostility. "Can I get you anything?" she asked sweetly in a carefully practised New England accent, making sure not to let slip any trace of the sarcasm she felt.

"You're new here," stated the Winter Soldier.

Lydia nodded. "It's my first day."

Another customer waved her over. The Winter Soldier motioned that it was okay to go ahead and serve him first. After waiting for Lydia to pour the other man a finger of whiskey, the Winter Soldier resumed his questioning. "What's your name?"

"Nancy. What's yours?"

"Colin. Where are you from?"

Lydia Holden was from Hobart, Australia. Nancy West wasn't. "Small town in Maine."

"What brings you to Chicago?"

Lydia shrugged casually. Internally, her heart was racing. The Winter Soldier was so notorious that most people didn't believe he was real. And yet, she had found him. She could not mess this up. She was drawing on every ounce of her training to fool him. "You know how it goes – small town kids growing up and wanting to see the big city. I've been here for a few years now, picking up whatever jobs I can find."

"You don't go to college?"

"Nope. I was never school material."

Lydia returned to work as a wave of customers came in. The bar grew busier quickly, and the Winter Soldier left her alone. He continued to watch her for a while, seemingly waiting for the slightest mistake, anything at all out of the ordinary. But Lydia was top of the class when it came to controlling her body language. She could keep up this perfect cover for as long as she needed to. She never slipped. Eventually, the Winter Soldier turned his attention back to his target. Lydia smiled internally. She had successfully convinced him that she was not a threat – that she had nothing to do with him.

Of course, the opposite was true. The Winter Soldier was her mission, just like Governor Moore was his. Her team had been tracking the Winter Soldier for the last year, and finally found him in Chicago two days ago. They wasted no time in sending Lydia, their best undercover agent, in to keep tabs on him and building her a detailed, flawless cover. Their team was the best in the whole organisation – they needed to be, because the Winter Soldier was the best in _his_ business. As Lydia poured drinks, she had no doubt that her colleagues were monitoring the area very closely.

The Winter Soldier had appeared in the bar the night before, after stalking Moore for two days – possibly more, if he'd manage to stay out of sight of every camera in the city. Lydia wouldn't put it past the infamous assassin. Governor Moore had heavy security, and Lydia had instantly recognised the movement patterns of the Winter Soldier when the team arrived in Chicago – he was trying to find a weakness in the Governor's security. He was having difficulty, as far as Lydia could tell. By rule of thumb in most of the cases her team had studied, the assassin would have finished his mission by now, or at least be close to wrapping it up. The fact that he had shown no sign of making an offensive move yet only put Lydia on guard. She was watching him just as closely as he had watched her, albeit much more subtly, prepared to act the moment he went for the Governor. Her team's mission wasn't to save the Governor, exactly – Australia couldn't care less about some old American politician, especially one nearing the end of his political career like Moore was. No, the mission was to detain the Winter Soldier, but that would likely involve foiling his plans anyway.

The hours dragged on, and eventually Moore left, his security entourage of four forming a solid guard. A few minutes later, the Winter Soldier followed. As Lydia bent under the counter, with the guise of getting a clean cloth, she pulled her necklace pendant out from under her shirt, pressed down the gemstone on it and muttered, "This is Agent Holden. Target has left the bar. Over."

She tucked her necklace away again, hearing a voice inside her ear. "This is Agent Leigh. Copy that. The target is moving south."

Lydia stood up, a faint frown etched upon her face. Leigh hadn't needed to specify anything more – the tone of his voice had been enough. The Winter Soldier always moved north after leaving the bar – the same direction as Moore.

"Agent Leigh, follow the target," commanded the team's leader, Agent Claudia Torres. With a slightly teasing tone, she added, "And do it discreetly."

Lydia hid a smile at Leigh's embarrassed reply as he complied. He had once, while tailing another agent in training, done what he'd seen in movies and began kissing his partner to avoid being noticed. As well as getting punched for it by Lydia – his victim – a senior agent, had amusedly caught them. While Leigh had learnt his lesson, his team and anyone else who'd heard had never let him live it down.

Leigh gave them regular updates as he tailed the Winter Soldier. "I think this is the motel he's staying in. He's gone in. I'm going to wait in the pizza place across the street."

Lydia waited through half an hour of silence from Leigh – well, silence about the Winter Soldier. He had no problem telling them all about the delicious deep dish he was eating; a fact that did not amuse Lydia, who hadn't eaten for hours. After half an hour, Leigh reported that the Winter Soldier was on the move again. Soon, he deducted where the target was headed. "I think he's going to Nancy West's apartment."

Lydia nodded slightly to herself. They'd been prepared for as much. Lydia had spent a few hours making sure the apartment looked thoroughly lived in and had left no evidence of her true identity or career there. They had bribed the landlord to tell anyone who asked that Nancy had lived there for about a year, but they couldn't guarantee how convincing the man would be. All they could hope was that the Winter Soldier didn't go that far.

Forty minutes later, Leigh reported that the Winter Soldier had left the apartment. Confirming that he was headed in the direction of Governor Moore's home, the rest of the team moved out to various positions around the mansion. Lydia was stuck at her cover job, which annoyed her to no end, but she did have a feeling that the Winter Soldier still would not strike tonight. If he was planning to, he wouldn't have wasted time doing a background check on Lydia – Nancy. He only did because he was planning to stay in Chicago longer.

Her prediction came true when her shift ended at three in the morning and her team had reported no activity from the Winter Soldier. He only circled Moore's house, slowly, calculatingly, clearly planning his attack. Eventually, the Winter Soldier left. Agent Torres confirmed that he returned to his motel and she stayed behind to make sure he wouldn't sneak out again. The rest of the team returned to their hotel – except Lydia, who went to the apartment for appearance's sake.

When she entered, she was very impressed. The Winter Soldier left hardly any sign that he had been there at all, much less searching through the place. She doubted that anyone who wasn't specifically looking for signs of entry would have noticed at all. She stowed her bag under her bed, not taking out her equipment in case the Winter Soldier decided to return. She quickly brushed her teeth and changed into pyjamas, getting straight into bed. It was almost four in the morning, and she needed to be well rested in case she ended up needing to fight.

Lydia slept until eight a.m. It wasn't much, but she could get by. She woke when she heard in her ear that the Winter Soldier was out and about again. She prepared herself for the day in record time, grabbing an apple and a cereal bar to eat as she walked to the hotel her team was based at, making sure that she was not being tailed. The Winter Soldier was nowhere near her location, but Lydia was a spy through and through, and it was a natural habit to move with care.

When she got to her team's hotel room, there were two members inside – Daisy Fry, the scientist, and Claudia, who was asleep. That meant Marvin Leigh and Kyle Wiggins were out tailing the Winter Soldier. Lydia gestured towards Claudia and quietly asked Daisy, "How long was she out for last night?"

"She only got back about an hour ago," replied Daisy, walking into the next room with Lydia and shaking her head in disapproval, her wild mop of blonde curls bouncing with her. "She's so focused on the Winter Soldier. It's not healthy."

"You're telling me," sighed Lydia. "Where are Kyle and Leigh? I might as well go-"

"No!" exclaimed Daisy. "We can't risk the Winter Soldier seeing you at all. You're our inside eyes and ears, and that's how we need you to be."

"I just feel so useless sitting here all day," groaned Lydia.

"Well, you make up for it at night, don't you?"

"I guess."

"There lots you can do here."

"Please don't say I have to monitor the surveillance cameras around Moore's house again. It sucks."

Daisy pouted. "You're good at it."

"You're just saying that because you don't want to do it."

Daisy grinned. "Maybe."

"All right," conceded Lydia. "I'll monitor the security cameras. But you have to pay for lunch."

"Absolutely," agreed Daisy.

Lydia poured herself a cup of coffee and sat herself down in front of the two laptops that had access to the cameras on and around Governor Moore's property. Everything had been fine so far, and the laptops had an alert set up in case there was any sudden movement detected, but they tried to have someone watching or at least nearby at all times. Over the next couple of hours, the two men followed the Winter Soldier while he tailed Moore and various members of Moore's personnel; with Daisy providing tech support, while Claudia got some rest. Lydia had gone through three cups of coffee and dozed off twice while monitoring Moore's property when Kyle was suddenly yelling in her ear frantically.

"I have been compromised! I've been seen! Does anybody copy?"

Lydia sat up straighter as Claudia and Daisy rushed over to her. Quickly, Daisy began fiddling with one of the laptops, while Lydia set up the hands-free for their communication system. "Copy, we're tracking your location and accessing CCTV right now."

"Agent Wiggins, what happened?" demanded Claudia. She had gone from fast asleep to on high alert so quickly, Lydia wondered if she'd actually been asleep.

"I – I don't know," said Kyle. Lydia could hear him panting as he ran. "One second everything seemed fine and the next, he was looking right at me and he started prowling towards me."

"Leigh? Are you getting any of this?" demanded Claudia.

"Yes, ma'am. I can confirm this. The Winter Soldier very suddenly went after Agent Wiggins. He is armed and looks prepared to attack. One handgun, it looks like. I couldn't get a closer look before he moved off. I'm following the target now."

"I've found Agent Wiggins and the Winter Soldier," said Daisy, typing away frantically, keeping up a range of camera views as the two moved.

"Do you need back-up?" asked Lydia.

"Not yet," wheezed Kyle, despite being in top physical state. Lydia winced at how hard he had to be running for that. "I think I can get away."

"I've got an escape route for you," Daisy said, relief flooding her voice. "Take the next left. Okay, good, into that alleyway there."

Lydia tapped her foot nervously, keeping an eye on the Winter Soldier as he chased after Kyle. "Kyle!" she cried. "Stop! Turn around! He's changed path, he's trying to cut you off."

"I'm getting into that cab," said Kyle, quickly jumping into the vehicle that had stopped on the road a little way in front of him.

"Take a long way, make sure you've lost him for sure," instructed Claudia. "Leigh, can you keep going?"

"Of course," said the other agent. "Making my way towards the target right now."

"Be extra careful. Kyle, you just get back here safely." Claudia sighed and collapsed onto an armchair, running a hand through her thick, dark brown hair.

"You okay?" asked Lydia.

"Why did I sign up for this stuff?" mumbled Claudia rhetorically. "It's so damn stressful. I think my life just got shorter by a couple of years."

Lydia gave a wry smile. "I know what you mean. I'll get you a cup of coffee."

"Thanks," said Claudia gratefully.

Kyle returned an hour later, having switched cabs numerous times and taking a train for a leg of the journey as well. Perhaps overkill, but too many people in the past had made the mistake of underestimating the Winter Soldier. "Damn it, that was close," he sighed as he walked in, heading straight for a bottle of water.

"I wonder what happened," murmured Daisy.

"I've been looking back at the footage of before things went bad," said Lydia. "I've found one conclusion. There were three moments when the Winter Soldier could possibly have seen Kyle through the reflection of various surfaces. Not much to go by, normally – but then again, we know the Winter Soldier is something else. He may have realised he was being followed when that happened, but hid it until he reached a spot that was ideal for confronting his tail. That's one thing I've noticed – the moment he started chasing Kyle, they were in a spot where Kyle had very limited escape options."

"So we underestimated him," muttered Kyle. "Great."

"At least he didn't see Leigh."

"Or maybe he did and he's waiting for his perfect moment again," grumbled Kyle.

Lydia shook her head firmly. "He's had a few opportunities for that and hasn't done anything. I'm sure Leigh hasn't been spotted."

"Don't worry, man," said Leigh. "I was in the better position for staying hidden."

"I'm not worried," said Kyle, but he looked a little happier. "At least now I get to stay inside this nice hotel room instead of trudging around Chicago."

"Shut up," sighed Leigh.

"Are you tired?" said Claudia. "I can take over."

"No, no. You can't have gotten much rest before this happened."

"I'm good."

"No, you've slept for like five hours in the last two days. Get some rest," said Leigh firmly.

"Fine," said Claudia reluctantly. She wandered into the bedroom, and Lydia heard the rustle of sheets.

At five o'clock, Lydia reluctantly began preparing for her shift at the bar. Thankfully she just had the early shift tonight, although early was a relative term. She finished at eleven. "Time for fake work."

"Be careful," said Daisy anxiously. "If the Winter Soldier is capable of knowing more than we realise, he might know about you."

"I doubt it," said Lydia, trying to give herself confidence. If she were being honest, she was a little bit worried. The Winter Soldier would be highly suspicious of a new bartender the day after he'd started going there. Lydia hoped his check of her apartment had quelled any suspicions. She tied her long, jet black waves into a loose braid, put on a little bit of makeup and changed into some clothes that were slightly more revealing. The male customers liked that, her boss had said from day one, and her job was to make the customers happy. Although the drunken idiots who tried to hit on her got annoying sometimes, Lydia dealt with it. She would play her role to perfection as the young woman with a crappy job relying on tips to feed herself. She was pretty enough, and she had a nice body from her training, so being objectified by men was something she was used to. Besides, her line of work had put her into far more uncomfortable situations before.

"I'm off, see you later," she said to her teammates. She walked out onto the Chicago streets, waiting for a taxi to come by. "Leigh, am I clear?"

"You're clear. The Winter Soldier is currently waiting outside Moore's office."

"Copy," said Lydia, knowing that that could have been the last chance to talk to her teammates for a while. Getting into a cab, Lydia gave the driver directions to the bar. They arrived soon, and she walked into the joint, leaving the driver a generous tip and making sure she had her bag with everything inside. The place had just been opened, and there were exactly two customers sitting at the bar. Irene, the owner's sister and another bartender, was there, already serving drinks. Of course. It was Friday.

Lydia was thankful for the weekend and the heightened business it brought. It meant that for the next two nights, both she and Irene would be working. If the Winter Soldier acted, Lydia would actually be able to leave her post and go help her team without leaving the bar bartender-less – she didn't want to lose money for the owner, who as far as she could tell was a decent person. And it was likely that the Winter Soldier would make his move either tonight or the next night. This was already his third day here, minimum. He wouldn't stick around much longer, Lydia was sure.

 **Hi everyone, thanks for reading this chapter! I feel pretty good about it, which doesn't always happen, trust me – but the real opinion I'm after is yours! Please let me know what you thought :) You don't need to read this next part by the way, it's just some background info – I started writing this very soon after Captain America TWS came out, and life got in the way and I kind of left it, however with Civil War coming out very soon, I thought if I didn't get into this story again now, I never would because the new movie might not necessarily line up. I have a few chapters written already, so anyone reading this post-Civil War release may or may not find things that don't match. Idk, I haven't seen the movie yet either. After those chapters, though, I will try to blend as much from Cap 3 as I can. That's all, if you've read this far – kudos. Hope to see you next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

As seven-thirty rolled by, Governor Moore entered, once again with four security personnel. About twenty minutes later, the Winter Soldier strolled in, although the voices in her ear told Lydia that he'd been waiting outside the whole time. Moore's guards noticed the Winter Soldier enter, of course, but did not show any sign of concern. Clearly, they hadn't noticed him following their boss around all day.

"Nancy, is it?" Lydia reacted just as if Nancy was her real name, smiling warmly at the Winter Soldier. "Can I get some vodka?"

"Absolutely," she chirped. Vodka was a favourite of the Winter Soldier's. It made sense. Early records of him were unclear, but they seemed to point towards him working for the Soviet Union. Of course, it couldn't be the same guy – this Winter Soldier looked maybe thirty years-old, maximum; whereas legends of him had been springing up since the 1950s. But Lydia thought that perhaps there was an organisation in Russia – that had by all accounts seemed to have moved elsewhere in recent times – which had been training different Winter Soldiers for generations. It did surprise her at first that he sounded like he was from New York City, but accents could be learned – she herself was very good at them. Unless, as Claudia suspected, his employers were now based in America, in which case the Winter Soldier could easily be American-born.

Moore stayed at the bar for a long time tonight, until past the end of Lydia's shift. Irene begged her to stay a little longer because it was so busy, and Lydia obliged, as that would work out better for keeping an eye on Moore and the Winter Soldier anyway. About ten minutes before Moore left, the Winter Soldier did. That was new. Lydia looked over at the Governor, who seemed perfectly oblivious to the potential danger he was in. Daisy gave the automatic update that he was on the move. Lydia started focusing less on her work and more on listening.

"Agents," said Daisy with sudden urgency about a minute later, "there are men assembling at various points around the bar. We have ten who have just gotten out of three cars and have blocked the road about five hundred metres north of the bar. Three hundred metres south, there are five guys. They haven't blocked the road, but they're waiting by two cars. Then we have three patrolling, currently two blocks away. They are all armed and are all dressed the same. They do not identify as Chicago P.D, F.B.I, C.I.A or any other known organisation from the area. The Winter Soldier is making his way northwards towards the ten."

"Daisy, Kyle, we need you over here. We'll need a getaway vehicle whether things go good or bad," said Claudia sharply.

Lydia finished serving the customer she was at, as Daisy and Kyle confirmed they were already heading out, and hurried over to Irene. "I really need to knock off now, go home and get some rest."

Irene looked slightly disappointed, but nodded. "You were here 'til closing last night, weren't you? Okay, you go. Thanks for staying behind that little bit."

"No problem. Goodnight!" Lydia grabbed her bag and got out of the bar as quickly as she could without drawing attention to herself. When she saw the coast was clear, she grabbed her necklace pendant. "This is Agent Holden, I'm out of the bar and available."

"Holden, stick around until Moore leaves," came Claudia's instructions. "Myself and Leigh are closing in. Kyle, Daisy, are you here yet?"

"Two minutes away," said Daisy. "Approaching from the south."

"Good. Take out the five men to the south when you reach them."

"Shouldn't be a problem," said Kyle gravely.

Lydia pulled out her gun, putting her bag behind a set of crates in an alleyway next to the bar for safekeeping, and so it wouldn't get in the way in a fight. She didn't have anything outrageously valuable in there – some makeup supplies, her wallet and a cheaply bought phone to use undercover, that was it – but even making a comfortable living as a government agent, the hundred dollars in there was still a lot. She climbed up a ladder onto the roof of the next building, waiting for Moore to come out. He did a few minutes later, and she swore under her breath when she realised he was more than a little tipsy. That would complicate things if he needed to move quickly.

She tucked her gun behind her shirt, pressed her necklace pendant to allow her to continuously communicate and moved north along the road as Moore and his entourage got into their car, jumping easily across the rooftops of the tightly packed buildings, staying hidden from the view of the street. Daisy confirmed that there did not seem to be any people on the rooftops apart from Lydia, but she still kept low.

"The five from the south are about to move," exclaimed Daisy.

"Stop them, in any way necessary!" commanded Claudia.

Lydia hoped that Kyle and Daisy would be able to stop the five apparent backup men. From her high position, she had caught sight of the Winter Soldier and his ten men. A few moments later, Moore's car drove up and caught sight of them too. Lydia saw the brake lights glow, and suddenly the Winter Soldier was throwing a device towards Moore's car.

Lydia jumped down from the rooftop just as a small explosion blasted the car backwards. Moore's men got out of the wreckage quickly, Lydia had to admit, but the Winter Soldier was already walking towards them, a high-tech machine gun in his hands. In her peripheral vision, Lydia saw a flash of brown hair and blond hair as Claudia and Leigh appeared to deal with the Winter Soldier's lot. The Winter Soldier turned around for a moment then returned his attention to Moore – his priority.

Lydia pulled out her gun, aiming at the Winter Soldier's upper arm. She needed to bring him in alive. Those sorts of missions were the hardest, she thought grimly as she fired.

Her shot was dead on target, but all she heard was a metallic clang as the bullet glanced off him. Her eyes widened as he turned to face his attacker. Underneath the tear on his jacket where the bullet had hit, Lydia saw a gleam of silver. It was then that she realised his left arm was completely metal.

"You," he said in recognition, and although his voice was muffled through the mask that was covering his lower face, she did not miss the dangerous note to it. "Nancy."

Lydia jumped over the hood of the nearest car, dropping down behind it just as the Winter Soldier opened fire. She crawled to the rear end of the car and shot at him from there, but was forced back down again very soon. His bullets whizzed over her head, narrowly missing. "Kyle, Daisy, where are you?" she screamed as she got in another two shots.

"We've dealt with the backup, we're coming up right now," said Daisy.

"Get out of here!" Lydia cried to Moore's group. "That way! We have a car coming to get you out of here!"

The Winter Soldier turned to quickly loose fire on Moore's men. Lydia jumped out as he did, moving fast to take her opportunity. Two of Moore's guards fell, and the other two moved in front of him to guard him. Lydia shot at the Winter Soldier's exposed hand, the metal one, with two perfectly aimed shots. They didn't even dent whatever metal was there, but the impact of the bullets was enough the force him to loosen his grip. She followed up immediately with a forceful kick to the wrist, and he dropped the gun. She kicked it behind her, hoping one of the guards had the sense to take it.

Now she had him unarmed. With a sense of pride, Lydia pointed her gun at him. She took two steps back, knowing full well not to let him anywhere near her in case he managed to grab her gun and disarm her. "Hands behind your head," she said sharply. He obliged, with such an intense glare that Lydia had to force down a shiver.

There was a screech of tyres behind her. "Get in!" she heard Kyle shout at Moore. There was a scuffle of feet as they complied. Up ahead, Claudia and Leigh had wiped the floor with their opponents and were making their way over. Lydia nodded her head towards the van as they passed. "Walk," she said. "Slowly."

He obliged so easily, Lydia began to second-guess him. Claudia and Leigh went into the back of the van, and the Winter Soldier stopped parallel to the backseat, where Moore was sitting, and looked at him before looking over his shoulder at Lydia. She made a very obvious point of placing her finger on the trigger. "Keep moving," she barked. In a split second, she realised her mistake. As he had stopped walking, she had gotten too close to him.

Faster than she could register, the Winter Soldier snatched the gun out of her hands. He grabbed a fistful of her shirt and moved to throw her backwards. Lydia braced herself to fall, certainly, but she was not prepared for the speed and force with which she slammed into the door of a car that had been five metres behind her. She collapsed to the ground, gasping for the air that had been knocked out of her lungs. The Winter Soldier was still by the van. Somehow, he had thrown her that hard and that far. He picked up Lydia's gun and aimed at the window. There was faint smashing as the bullet hit, but it simply lodged into the bulletproof glass. Lydia knew that it wouldn't hold for long though. With what little air she had, she cried, "Go!"

"What about you?" came Daisy's frantic voice. The Winter Soldier shot again, and again. The glass cracked further.

Lydia tried to get up, but collapsed right back down. She wasn't sure if anything was badly damaged through the shock and pain of the impact. That was the problem. She was in too much pain to move. "Go without me," she gasped.

"Do it," ordered Claudia.

The Winter Soldier finally managed to shatter the glass, but the van reversed away, did a sharp U-turn and sped off. He continued to shoot at it, but within seconds they were gone.

"We'll come back for you," said Claudia. "Are you wearing one of the shirts with a tracker button?"

"Yes," gasped Lydia, and thanked the heavens for it. The Winter Soldier was walking towards her now. He had taken off his mask and was now holding it in his metal hand. He stopped in front of her and studied her for a few moments. She met his gaze challengingly. He reached down, grabbing her necklace.

"I should have known," he muttered angrily. He yanked it off with seemingly no effort and crushed it underfoot.

Lydia thought back to the nights in the bar. She would have noticed a metal hand. He'd been wearing gloves the whole time, she realised. She had thought little of it, and now cursed her complacency. She recalled some reports of him; indicating a bionic arm and super strength. At the time her team had mostly dismissed them. The reports were too confused and hysterical to be taken very seriously. Plus most of them had been from a long time ago, and the technology seemed too advanced to be possible. Now, Lydia wasn't so sure. "What the hell are you?"

He grabbed her arm and hoisted her up. "I'm usually called a super soldier. Don't try to run," he said. "I think you know I'll catch you."

Lydia silently acknowledged that. That didn't mean she wouldn't be looking out for every opportunity. He pulled her over to his squad of men, and bent down to examine a few of them. Lydia could've told him they were all dead. Their plan had been to take him and kill anyone else.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked, mimicking the tone of her earlier question.

"Would you believe me if I said Nancy West?" said Lydia icily.

"You won't tell me? Not even after I answered your question?"

"What the hell is 'super soldier' meant to mean?" she retorted.

"What does it sound like?" he said. "Well, it doesn't matter. We'll get answers out of you eventually."

Lydia didn't like the sound of that. "Do your best," she taunted, trying to bluff her confidence.

"We will," he said. He had his metal arm raised in the blink of an eye. Lydia had just enough time to realise he was bringing it around to her head.

 **Hi again! This chapter couldn't be posted without some mention of the Civil War movie, am I right? I'm super excited to see it, I had midsems last week so I didn't really have time, but I will soon! So no spoilers in your reviews (but please still review haha)! Thanks for reading :)**


	3. Chapter 3

When Lydia woke, the first thing she noticed was the smell of mould and rust. She didn't give any indication that she was awake, keeping her breathing even and her body relaxed. She could hear water dripping somewhere behind her, and someone breathing on her left – no, there were two people. The second one was breathing with a quietness that could only belong to someone who spent their life in concealment like she did. The Winter Soldier, she guessed.

She felt patchy leather on the parts of her back that were exposed. Her arms were resting on metal armrests, and a light weight on top of her wrists told her she was cuffed to them.

"She's awake," said the smooth voice with the Brooklyn accent.

Lydia sighed and opened her eyes. They were met with harsh, unnatural lighting. She looked to be in some sort of underground base. It was run down and dirty, and if she guessed correctly, out of the way. She could only hope that her team would be able to find her. There was a small table nearby. She saw her tiny earpiece lying there along with some tools. "You're good, Winter Soldier."

The Winter Soldier narrowed his eyes at her. He wasn't wearing his mask. The first time she'd identified him in the bar, he'd looked younger than she had expected, in his mid to late twenties. His face, also, surprised her. Even with the slight frown on his face, it was softer than she would have guessed for a highly achieved assassin. Almost too soft – as if he were empty. "So are you. I didn't suspect you for more than a minute." There was a tone of frustration in his voice as he said it. And – shame?

Lydia turned her eyes to the other man in the room. He was a nondescript type – blond hair, blue eyes behind glasses and slightly on the old side. However, he had an air of authority to him that Lydia would not underestimate. No doubt the reason that the Winter Soldier felt ashamed of letting her fool him was this man.

"Hello, Nancy – I doubt that's your real name, but it'll do." Lydia frowned at his American accent. Were they all _Americans?_ So much for her Russian theory. "My name is Alexander."

"Jesus," muttered Lydia. "You're really gonna play nice?"

"I see no need to be uncivil if you cooperate," said Alexander.

"Don't hold your breath." And she said it with such conviction that all three of them in that room believed it.

Alexander stared at her. "That's disappointing. Are you sure? Well, Soldier, you know what to do."

The Winter Soldier uncuffed her hands and led her over to a basin of water. Lydia wrinkled her nose. "God, I hope that's clean. Probably not, with the state of this place."

"That's the least of your worries," said Alexander.

"No, it really isn't," muttered Lydia. "Dying from e-coli or whatever would be such a lame way to go." She took a controlled breath and allowed herself to be put under.

The Winter Soldier let her up quite quickly. Probably underestimated her abilities, Lydia thought proudly. "Who do you work for?" said Alexander. "C.I.A? S.H.I.E.L.D? Or perhaps another country?"

"Your mom," said Lydia insolently. She was glad that she'd kept up her American accent the whole time. This Alexander probably wouldn't greatly suspect Australia, and now her American accent would really keep him guessing.

This time, the Winter Soldier held her down for much, much longer. She felt herself involuntarily squirm they approached the two minute mark, by her count. She was kept underwater for almost thirty seconds longer than that, and by the time she surfaced she was truly gasping for air. "Who do you work for?"

After what had to have been an hour of continually dunking Lydia without any pause, without any budging from her, Alexander decided to change torture method. "Put her back in the chair," he said.

Alexander said something quietly to the Winter Soldier as he returned to his boss's side. Lydia felt her first shreds of apprehension when the assassin's face was shadowed by a look of doubt. He left the room, giving Lydia a view of an empty hallway outside. There appeared to be just two guards standing outside, although she had no idea about the rest of the building. She turned back to Alexander, keeping up her confident façade.

"What's next?" she jeered.

"Something very painful. Even the Winter Soldier can attest to that. Now's your last chance, Nancy."

"No thanks."

The Winter Soldier returned with a tangle of wires and a large box on a cart. Lydia noted the labels on the equipment. It seemed like Alexander was going with electrocution. "Gee, I wonder how exactly the Winter Soldier can attest to the pain of electrocution? Haven't you been a good boy?" said Lydia with a pout.

The Winter Soldier looked pissed off by her question, and Alexander looked unsettled by the Winter Soldier's annoyance. Wary. Lydia smirked to herself. It looked like their relationship wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. They hooked up a series of wires between the box and Lydia, who resignedly braced herself for the pain.

"A low voltage to start with. She's still a little damp and we don't want to kill her before we get answers," said Alexander.

The Winter Soldier twisted a knob, and the torture started.

" _Who do you work for?_ "

Lydia tried to focus her eyes. The electricity flow had stopped, but she felt as if it was still going. Her body was still buzzing. She still felt the ghost of the pain now, almost indistinguishable from the real pain. After the last several shocks, she knew it wouldn't fade for a few minutes. She couldn't do this any longer. They were pumping her so full of electricity that she felt like even a small twitch of the Winter Soldier's hand would kill her.

"Some…some people who are…" she croaked out.

"Some people who are what?" demanded Alexander. He had long lost his civil front.

"Interested in…the Winter Soldier."

"Is that so?"

Lydia nodded. She could tell them her mission. It was failed now, what did it matter? But she had to leave out her country for as long as possible. That was the last thing she could do to protect her team. Trying to sound broken, she continued. "My team was gathering intelligence. Our mission was to apprehend him."

"Where is your team now?"

"I don't know." Lydia cried out as Alexander gestured for the Winter Soldier to turn on the electricity again. "No! Please, I don't know. They – they would've gotten Governor Moore to a secure place. Then they would have gotten out of here as soon as possible." A lie, but a plausible one.

"Without you?"

"We work for the greater good," said Lydia as flatly as she could. "Nobody is worth more than exactly what they can achieve. Nobody's life is worth more than the mission." She hoped that would swing it. It sounded like the sort of devotion mumbo-jumbo a secret criminal organisation could accept.

"So your team will continue the mission? With or without you?"

To be honest, Lydia wasn't sure. "Certainly under normal conditions," she whispered, turning her head slightly to face the Winter Soldier. "But after seeing what he can do…seeing whatever he is…"

"What did you know about him before?" Alexander said sharply.

"Not much," said Lydia. "He – he doesn't exactly leave many firsthand witnesses. There are just some reports from the last sixty odd years of a very efficient assassin. A lot of them seem unreliable beyond basic details."

"I want whatever details you have," said Alexander firmly.

Lydia took a deep breath. She genuinely was having trouble remembering. Her mind was still in a bit of a haze. "Originally worked for a Soviet organisation. Said organisation seems to have moved since. We guessed to America, seeing as this one sounds American."

"This one?"

"This Winter Soldier."

Alexander nodded. "All very good. But…" he nodded at the Winter Soldier, who turned the knob. He waited until he seemed to think Lydia was in more pain than she could bear. "You still haven't told me who you work for."

"Canada," blurted out Lydia. "Canada. C.S.I.S."

"Thank you," said Alexander, beaming. "See, not so bad. Now I can deal with them. Well, I have to get back to my day job. Soldier, you take care of all this." He waved at the wires and the box and walked out.

The Winter Soldier began packing up. He kept glancing over at Lydia. She would've rolled her eyes if her eyes didn't feel like popping out. He wasn't hiding it at all. "Is there something you want?" she hissed.

His eyes met hers for a second, dark blue and, for the first time since she'd met him, not completely _blank_. He dropped his gaze again to the voltage box, coiling a wire on top of it. "Is there something _you_ want? Water?"

"Depends," said Lydia. "Will there be anything in it other than water?"

"No."

Lydia pursed her lips and nodded. There wasn't really any point in poisoning her. She'd already given them what they wanted. "Then yes, I'd like some water."

The Winter Soldier took the equipment out and five minutes later with a plastic bottle. He undid her handcuffs and gave her the bottle before moving to the other side of the room.

Lydia examined the bottle cap. It was completely sealed and showed no other signs of tampering. Cracking it open, she took a long swig. "Thank you," she said grudgingly. "Are you going to tell me what's got your knickers in a knot? Like, more than before? 'Cause I'm kind of getting the feeling it has something to do with me."

The Winter Soldier's eyes went briefly unfocused, but once he collected himself he looked at Lydia imploringly. "Do you know more about me than you told Alexander?"

"No."

"I'm going to be a lot harder to lie to than Alexander," he warned. "Nancy – whoever you are – I want to know."

"I don't know anything else."

He crossed the room in about one second. "Yes, you do. I want to know. I don't know who I am, or who I was before I was the Winter Soldier. I just want to know."

"How can you expect me to believe that?" snorted Lydia. "I'm disappointed, really. I've come to expect better of you, Winter Soldier. But maybe making up stories is just not your forte."

"I'm telling the truth," he hissed through gritted teeth. "After every mission, I – I have to go through that. The electrocution."

"What?"

"They use it to wipe my memories. Make me into a clean slate for every mission."

Lydia stared. Everything she'd just gone through, except after every mission? By the people he worked for? "That's – that can't be possible."

"It's true."

Lydia had heard of experiments on the brain using electroshock techniques, but certainly not in America for a long, long time. And she didn't realise someone had harnessed it so effectively that it could completely erase a person's sense of self – if the Winter Soldier was telling the truth.

"If you can't remember anything, how could you be telling me?"

"It wipes the details of each mission, but I still remember what I'm supposed to do. I remember what it feels like to get my memory wiped – I remember the pain. Sometimes a few specific things slip through. I never questioned them, but…" The Winter Soldier faltered, and the emotion in his voice scared Lydia. She had not been able to imagine him as emotional in any way. His personality hadn't even seemed human until now.

"But you're questioning them now."

"A three days ago I saw a newspaper. The man on the cover, he was blond and tall and it felt like I knew him. I don't remember knowing him, or his name. Nothing. But there was something about him. I need to find out."

Lydia wracked her brains, but could not for the life of her remember who may have been the front cover man the Winter Soldier was talking about. She wasn't a newspaper kind of girl. "He must be really important if seeing a picture of him makes you suddenly want self-discovery," she said suspiciously.

"I think he is." The Winter Soldier said quietly, and then his whole body tensed, and when he spoke again his voice was full of anguish and frustration. "I just want to know the truth. I want to know who I am." He took a deep breath. "Please help me."

Lydia looked at her hands. "I do know more than I told Alexander. Not much more, though. Not enough to give you the answers you want. But I do have some theories. I can give you a start."

He pulled out a long, sharp metal skewer of some sort. Lydia's eyes widened and she jumped out of the chair and across the room, away from him, frantically searching for something she could use to defend herself. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said. Slowly, he walked over, and tucked the item into her right boot. "I'm going to cuff you back to the chair. If you try to get away I'd have to stop you, but I'm leaving the building in ten minutes. I'll find you in the next couple of days before they–" He broke off. "I just want you to tell me everything you know."

Lydia nodded and barely dared to breathe as the Winter Soldier secured her back to the chair. He left without looking at her again, and she began to count the minutes. She waited longer than the ten, just to be safe. Then, she lifted her leg up to reach into her boot and took out the metal rod. It took her a few minutes to pick the locks of her handcuffs. Creeping to the door, she began to work on that lock. When it was done, she waited a minute. No sound from outside gave any indication that the guards had noticed anything. But they probably had guns, whereas she only had basically a sharp knitting needle. Her best was to get them before they knew what the hell was going on.

Lydia took a deep breath and swung the door open quickly. By the time the one on the left turned to face her, she had already stabbed the right one in the neck. The left guy quickly followed the fate of his colleague. She took both their guns and a keycard of some sort and crept up the hallway. She had no idea where she was and she had no idea what the layout of the building was. She wished the Winter Soldier had taken a second to tell her where to bloody go, but it was too late for that. She used her newfound key to unlock the door at the end of the corridor and cracked it open a sliver.

Lydia couldn't see much. It looked to be some sort of laboratory, filled with equipment she didn't care to try to name. About ten people were bustling around in lab coats, as well as three armed guards. Easing the door shut again, Lydia crept back to look for another exit. When she could not find one, she reluctantly moved back towards the door. With so many enemies, getting out would require everything she knew.

She walked through the door, holding herself casually, pretending that she belonged nowhere else but in that room. For her, it was a tried and tested trick and it worked like a charm. She shot the three guards immediately and with ease. They kind of sucked. Only one of them managed to get his gun even halfway raised.

Now, the scientists. Most of them had no idea what to do. A couple picked up guns, but they missed her by miles. They weren't trained for this stuff. Lydia ducked behind a desk and picked them off one by one. Satisfied, she advanced to the elevator at the other side of the room. She swiped the keycard again, smirking proudly at her amazing escape so far, and waited patiently for the elevator to bring her up to the ground floor.

When the doors slid open, she found herself in an abandoned old warehouse. How unoriginal. The place looked empty, but she was sure there were a few more guards lurking about. Staying hidden behind a collection of empty crates, she crept towards a glowing green exit sign on the nearest wall, keeping her eyes and ears peeled for threats.

She sensed the movement on the left before she saw anything, a prickling instinct born from spending her entire adult life in the field, and dove into a forward roll just in time. A bullet grazed her shoulder, and she heard shouting and the sound of running footsteps as she shot her attacker. She leapt to her feet and ran for the emergency exit as the footsteps drew closer and the shouts suddenly grew more frantic. She guessed they'd found their friend.

She burst into warm sunlight, but had no time to relish it. She sprinted down the street, which was full of similar abandoned warehouses. A few seconds later, she heard shouts as her attackers emerged onto the street. Lydia dove for the cover of an industrial garbage bin. It took several minutes of shooting and hiding back behind the bin, but Lydia got the job done. Thankfully she'd taken two guns from the guards, because one of them ran out of ammunition after a few shots.

By now, what with all of her physical activity, her bullet graze was started to bleed a bit. She would easily live, but she had to be careful of getting weak from blood loss. She pushed herself to her feet and continued at a jog, turning at the next street, all the while looking for any clue as to where the hell she was. She was still in Chicago, she presumed. On the outskirts, definitely. In the far distance, she could see the taller buildings of the inner city. She slowed to a walk once she'd put a good distance between herself and the warehouse and ducked into smaller streets and alleyways for concealment.

A van pulled up in front of her just as she exited one such alleyway. "Shit," hissed Lydia before turning and running.

"Lydia, wait!"

She froze in her tracks and spun around. "Claudia?"

The other woman jogged up. "Lydia, thank God. Come on, get in the car. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," said Lydia. "Just got a graze from a bullet."

"We've been waiting for hours. We couldn't get a signal from your tracker. Thankfully Daisy put it on an alert in case it did suddenly start transmitting – which it did, about half an hour ago. Led us all the way down here."

"I was being kept underground," said Lydia grimly. "You must have started receiving the signal after I got away and got above ground."

"What happened to you?"

"They spent all night trying to get information out of me."

"Did you tell them anything?" asked Claudia sharply.

"Nothing they didn't suspect or could guess. Just that we were trying to catch the Winter Soldier. Told them I was working for Canada. Gave them some bullshit that you guys would be far, far away from Chicago by now."

"Did it work?"

"They didn't question it."

"Who is 'they'? What do you know about them?"

"Not much," said Lydia sourly. "There was a guy, about sixty years old, called himself Alexander. He seemed like the biggest boss in the place, although to be fair he was one of only two people I didn't just kill on sight. The other was the Winter Soldier. Yeah, he was definitely in charge of the Winter Soldier. They were both gone by the time I escaped."

"How did you escape?" Claudia's tone was perfectly normal, but Lydia hesitated, unable to help herself. She had agreed to help the Winter Soldier, but she had no idea how Claudia would feel about it. With the way she took the mission so seriously, and sometimes got angry, Lydia suspected Claudia had a serious personal grudge with the Winter Soldier. She'd never cared to ask, though, and now she felt like she was stepping onto a minefield.

"Let's just say they accidentally left a sharp object in the room with me."

Claudia's eyes narrowed. "Lydia, you may be the best here at reading body language, but that doesn't mean I'm an incompetent idiot. What are you hiding?"

Lydia slumped in defeat. "Okay, fine. The Winter Soldier purposefully left me with a sharp object."

"He helped you escape?"

"Yes."

" _Why?_ " came a chorus of her teammates' voices, who'd been previously listening silently.

"He says he can't remember who he is. During the interrogation I said we've been gathering intelligence on him and he wants to know everything."

"That's the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever heard," scoffed Claudia. "He just wanted to know what we know! What else did you tell him, exactly where to find us and silence us?"

"No," snapped Lydia. "He let me go first. He said he would find me later."

"Well then, we've got to be ready," decided Claudia. "We need to figure out how to counteract his crazy fucking super-strength and we should be good. I contacted H.Q. They have acknowledged that it may be a little difficult to bring him in alive. They'll settle for dead."

"What?" said Lydia. "No, wait. We aren't killing him."

"Excuse me?" Claudia's voice could cut glass.

Lydia stared into her teammate's normally warm chocolate eyes, which had now frozen into something much more dangerous. "Claudia, please. Listen, I understand how you feel, but we need to hear him out. He said they brainwash him after every mission with some sort of electrocution and they make him forget everything. This is important information at the very least, and saving a man from all kinds of evil shit at the very most."

"Agent Holden, get a grip on yourself. How did you fall for that?" Claudia shook her head and added mockingly, "Did they brainwash you too?"

"I didn't believe it at first, but he explained it a little more to me and if you'd just _listen_ –"

"You're being irrational, Holden."

"Damn it, _Torres_ , you weren't there!" burst out Lydia. "You didn't see him, you didn't hear him! Compared to how he acts the rest of the time, it was like he was broken."

"So that's it. He tricked you. He just turned on the puppy eyes and you fell for it."

Lydia took a deep breath, resisting the urge to punch Claudia in the face. "I didn't fall for anything. You said not five minutes ago that's I'm the best at body language here. I don't _fall for things_ like you're implying. I know what I saw."

"You're not infallible, Lydia. You've gotten overconfident. Don't forget that the Winter Soldier is also an expert of his field, so much that most people think he's a legend. _He tricked you._ "

"I think we should trust Lydia's judgement," Kyle interrupted cautiously before Lydia could. Claudia spun her pissed glare to him. "You've always hated the Winter Soldier the most Claudia, and you're letting it cloud your judgement."

"You know what he's done. He a murderer. If half the things we've read are true, he's in the top five most ruthless and dangerous people on the planet. What is wrong with you two? Have you magically forgotten everything you know about him?"

"I trust Lydia too," said Daisy timidly. "And she seems very sure about this. He sounds like he's being used. And, well, isn't it our job to protect people? No matter what they do or what country they're from. And I think it's definitely our responsibility now to find out more about this memory wiping technology. It sounds too dangerous to leave in the wrong hands."

"Sorry, Claudia," said Leigh. "I don't think any of us have forgotten what we've heard about the Winter Soldier in the past. But it sounds like there's more to it than anyone knew."

Claudia slammed her hand on the side of the car door. "Have it your way. You can explain to HQ that you want to fuck up the mission because the Winter Soldier played the victim and you believed it."

Lydia smiled grimly. "That won't be happening."


End file.
